she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
