You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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