She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
