its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
