How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
