I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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