Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
