He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
