how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
