don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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