he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
