no you cant smoke seaweed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
