Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
