i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
