"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
