and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
