i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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