It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize