I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
