You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
