Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
