Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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