Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My vagina is officially offended.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
