i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
