Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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