Kiss
Puke
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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