He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
