ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
