...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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