sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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