i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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