Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
