i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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