some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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