bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
