that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Floor bacon is actually really good
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
