no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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