If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
