If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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