That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
