Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
