Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
