I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
