Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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