I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
