Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
