When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
