everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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