Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
