His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
