my mouth tastes like poor choices
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
