so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
