Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
